www.google.com. what a glorious invention. Next to the internet, beer, monkeys, VANS, Converse, Bruce Springsteen and laptops - google is one of the best inventions ever!!! I like to know what is going on in my life, every once in a great (once a week) while, I google myself. Really, who doesn't? I know you do, and you do, and you do too. But, do you google other people?
A few years ago my husband was given a project at work. He was working on a podcast. I wasn't "sure" what a podcast was, he explained to to me and then told me to google it. I am a big fan of all things local, so I googled podcasts, then I googled podcasts MI, then I probably narrowed it down a bit. Long story longer, I found someone I knew years ago through a podcast and really wanted to get in touch with her (she and I were married to a set of brothers - we became friends though our sisters-in-law relationship - when my ex and I split up, the sister-in-law and I lost touch)
I have been re-evaluating all things in my life: the death of my dad when I was 22, my marriage at 25, my divorce at 26, my alcoholism that was a direct result from my dad dying, my getting married and divorced. I had become a textbook train wreck, but I was too wrapped up in myself and my princess ways to know that I was an alcoholic and the world didn't revolve around me. At the time I thought the world was there to tell me I was awesome and I oozed awesomeness (I didn't and I don't). I began to hate who I was, how I treated others and just how much of a bitch I was. I decided to turn those things around. I have decided there are some people I owe an apology. I don't want to do this to gain friends and increase my popularity. I want/need to do this because I have a lot of pent up stupid things I did or said to people that didn't need to be said or did. I look at it this way. I'm doing this because I realized how awful of a drunk I was and I decided to stop/slow down my drinking (I did not join AA - if I didn't stop on my own, I would have eventually), being part-time sober, my super awesome memory (with exceptional detail) kicked into high gear and I started to remember stupid/embarrassing/flat out dumb things I said or did. I also want to apologize to some people for how much of a materialistic/self centered bitch I was the few times I was actually sober between 18 and 28 - yeah, 10 years of stupidity to sort through.
*back on topic* after finding the sister-in-law through a podcast, I decided I wanted to get back in touch with her. I google her every once in a while to see if I can find an email address for her. Tonight, I found one. I know it's probably a crap shoot, but I emailed her, explained to her who I was and why I was emailing her. I asked her to write me back, but explained I would understand if she didn't want to or if I scared her off completely. I wonder what will happen. I'm thinking worse case scenario, I will have to stay at least 500 yards away from her for the rest of my life. It could be worse.
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